How To Raise Travel-Happy Kids
Written by Kate Orson
Kate Orson is a parent educator and author of Tears Heal: How to listen to our children. She also works as a Tripsitta babysitter and holiday nanny.
Any parent of a young child knows that routine can be the bedrock of a stable family life, but what about when you’re struck with wanderlust, and craving adventure? Should you wait till the kids get older before seeing the world or jump on a plane this summer?
As an expat mum living away from my home country for the last twenty years, travel has been part of our family life since my daughter was just a few months old. While there may be some stresses and upsets along the way, it’s perfectly doable to travel with young children. Sometimes your plans might need a little tweaking to make them child-friendly, but there can still be plenty of fun to suit all ages and stages! Here are a few tips for helping to help holidays go smoothly.
Big Feelings
Change, newness and exciting adventures can trigger big feelings in children. Maybe they have a meltdown because it feels overwhelming, or they spend the morning whining, and their negative mood threatens to spoil the day.
A crying, moaning child is often seen as negative in our society, but despite how challenging it can be, it’s actually something very positive! Your child feels safe to express their feelings and tell them what’s going on for them. In times of intensive travel, your child soaks up a warm connection with you, and that can actually allow them to feel safer to let big feelings bubble up to the surface.
One of the most important things to understand as a parent is that crying, and tantrums are a healing process, a natural way to release stress and tension. When we sense our child on the verge of a meltdown we might try to do everything we can to distract them, cheer them up, or try to talk them out of crying. We might give in to their demands, when we really want to say no, or tiptoe around their emotions to try and prevent them from having a tantrum.
However, this can end up backfiring and they spend the whole day in a negative mood that affects everyone’s enjoyment of the trip.
One of the most helpful things you can do for your child is actually simply allow them to express their feelings freely, without trying to stop the crying. Move to a quiet spot, or your hotel room. Offer your child hugs, don’t try to distract or ‘fix’ the problem immediately, but just listen. If they want something you don’t really want to give them right now such as an ice cream, or a new toy, gently tell them no, and hold the limit without budging.
Oftentimes children pick a ‘pretext’ to get upset about to process deeper feelings. For example maybe your child has some fear triggered about being away from home; but they want to stifle their feelings with sweets or a toy.
The problem isn’t really not having the toy, so when we say ‘no’ to a want, it can actually be like a gift, allowing our child to express their deeper feelings of fear and upset.
You may find that after a short cry, they are feeling much better, and everyone is able to enjoy the rest of the day.
Connection Time
Another principle to bear in mind is how children thrive on a strong sense of connection with you. While they may be sleeping in an unfamiliar bed, and are away from their usual routine, they still have you! One way to help your day go smoothly is to start the day with some ‘special time.’ Set a timer with your child and tell them it’s ‘special time,’ and they can choose to do whatever they want. Even ten to fifteen minutes can make a difference. For this set time shower your child with attention as they play something they love with you. Maybe it’s with toy cars or some stuffed animals they’ve brought with them. Maybe they want to draw with you, and just have your warm attention 100% on them for a while.
Special time is a great way to start a day off right. Your child absorbs a strong sense of connection with you as their safe base. This attachment is fundamental for children to feel confident to go off and explore the world. A small dose of child centred-time can also help them be a bit more flexible about what you want to do!
Travel with kids is always going to be a little different. Days of adult-centred activities may be a thing of the past (unless you hire a Tripsitta of course!), but time spent supporting your child through big feelings, and short bursts of child-led play can make all the difference.
To learn more about Kate and her experience and background, you can discover her Tripsitta profile here.
She’s available for local babysitting in Florence, Chianti and around Tuscany, and is also happy to travel for holiday nanny positions.
