Balancing The Juggle
As a freelance writer and parent educator I’ve been working from home since the first few months of my daughter’s life.
Post-Covid, with so many more parents swapping the office for the home, the question is; how to manage the juggle? Older children may be at school for much of the day. Parents of babies, toddlers and preschoolers face a different challenge. How do you work from home with young children?
First there’s no denying it, children need buckets of attention to thrive. Expecting an under 5 to play independently while you work isn’t realistic. Even older children need plenty of parental input.
However, depending on your workload, there are ways to be there for your kids and your boss.
1. Give your child focused 1-1 attention
When you’re trying to work from home with young children, you might hope they’ll happily play independently while you answer emails. But young children need plenty of connection and attention throughout the day.
One approach that can help is Special Time: a short period of completely focused one-to-one attention.
No matter how hectic the work schedule, having 5-10 minutes to spare isn’t too difficult. ‘Special time’ is a way of harnessing the power of giving your child 1-1 attention.
Set a timer for maybe 10, 15 minutes or even 5 if that’s all you have available. Tell your child it’s special time and they can do whatever they want with you. Five or ten minutes might not seem like much. But, in this concentrated quality time your child gets to soak up your warm attention.
Special time is like a ‘connection vitamin,’ that can last the whole day. It’s perfect if you have to leave your child with a nanny or babysitter. Or, if you just want five minutes to answer a few emails; your child may be more likely to play independently after special time as they have internalised a sense of connection with you.
2. Hire A Babysitter or Nanny You Can Trust
Being at home means you get to soak up little moments with your kids. They run to you to show you a picture they’ve just drawn, or the cat they made out of playdough. However constant interruptions can play havoc on your attention span, and make it impossible to get anything done.
Hiring a nanny or babysitter you can trust can help you to focus on work. You are always going to be the best expert on your child. However, resist the urge to micromanage every activity which can easily eat up your time. Instead, hire the kind of nanny that you trust to take your kids out of the house to the park or soft play from time to time so you have uninterrupted time to focus.
3. Decide When Your Door Is Open, (Or Closed)
As a nanny and babysitter I’ve worked with some parents who go into their garden cabin, or others who stay in the living room and have more of an open door policy. Every family works differently, and it may be entirely dependent on the kind of work you do, and what you’ve got on that day.
When figuring out how to work from home with young children it’s worth fostering a flexible environment where your child understands there’s times they can’t come in because ‘mummy’s on a work call,’ and other times when you can easily take a pause to admire their Lego spaceship.
4. Set Clear Boundaries Around Your Working Time
Helping your child with big feelings is an inevitable part of figuring how to work from home with young children.
That closed door can result in a huge meltdown or screaming fit when a child is having difficulty processing the fact that you are both there but not available. If you do need to leave your child with another parent or babysitter, then set a limit with warmth and empathy.
If they are crying and tantrumming then it can help for the other adult to just be with them as they process their emotional upset. The other adult should just stay close and offer comfort rather than feeling they have to immediately stop the tears. Sometimes children simply need time and support to process their disappointment.
Once a child is free to express what they are feeling fully they will soon get through the stormy emotions, start feeling better and be able to enjoy playing. They’ll also have more of an understanding and flexibility about the fact that sometimes mummy or daddy has to work.
5. Let Go Of Working Parent Guilt
There’ll be days when adults get behind with work and need to make the kids the top priority. There’ll also be days when work occupies a lot of your time, and the children don’t get the amount of attention they want. It’s all too easy to feel guilty when you’re not with the kids, and guilty when you’re with them for neglecting work.
It can help to remember that this world is far from perfect, and it’s not a reflection on your parenting (or working!) skills that you can’t get the balance right. So drop the parent guilt and go easy on yourself. Trying to find balance is hard work. Give yourself plenty of time to rest and recharge.
